It seems a common phrase to hear nowadays: men and fellow women are always telling us that we needn't cake our face with makeup when we look so beautiful naturally. This used to make me seethe...why can't they just leave it alone? However, after giving the sentiment thought over the years, I've come to some different conclusions.
Aside from the fact that most (I strongly stress the word most) men do not know what a natural, makeup free face actually looks like, I now believe that these questions are genuine. Maybe these people do not think that makeup is bad, but that women are so beautiful without it. We should not take offense to this, but rather take it as a compliment. However, this points out the problem I see with assuming makeup is used for the sole purpose of covering up perceived "ugliness". Herein lies the explanation for why I, personally, choose to wear makeup.
After several years throughout puberty and beyond wearing makeup for the sole purpose of covering up imperfections, I now see the error of my ways. I had always held deep insecurities with my appearance, as any girl does, but it came to the point where the effort of it all was too much and I stopped wearing makeup altogether. Maybe it was the constant questions of why I bothered to wear makeup that contributed to it as well. As time went on, I began embrace my dark under eye circles for what they are, accept my pores as a part of my face, and find character in my misshaped nose. As cheesy as it may sound, I think I started to see my face for what it truly was, and for the first time began to see genuine beauty in it. (Now maybe the fact that I had gotten a boyfriend at this time who was constantly reminding me of that helped, but nonetheless I gained confidence that I had severely been lacking. I loved my face for what it was, as it was).
Then, and only then, did I allow myself to begin wearing makeup again. At this point I had decided to become an art major in college, and as I started to explore the world of YouTube, I saw makeup as an art form. My face became a canvas for me to create works of art upon. As I collected more and more products, the possibilities expanded (and my wallet contracted...). Each day, doing my makeup became a painting--an expression of myself. To me, the process of creating (AKA putting on my makeup) was much more important than the outcome. If time allowed, I would take off and reapply my makeup several times in a day because I enjoyed it that much. Because of the confidence I previously gained, I can now go days without makeup or with makeup, and it does not make a difference. I feel that I can wear makeup now for the enjoyment of it rather than the need for it. That is the most important part. I believe anyone who decides to wear makeup should at least in some part heed this lesson: makeup should not be utilized to create beauty, but rather to complement already existing beauty that is in all of us.
Now and again, I still find my confidence slipping and using makeup as a crutch. There was one day I decided to go to my classes with absolutely no makeup at all, something I had not previously done that semester. I was horrified to hear over five people ask me if I was feeling alright because my face looked sick. After the initial shock and thoughts that I would never venture out without makeup ever, EVER again, I realized that they were just not used to my face without makeup, but through my own efforts, they should be. I am still concerned with the fact that I look fourteen years old without makeup, but concede that one day, I will be grateful for my baby face. It is a process, but an important one at that.
Here it is: the before and after...
Two faces that are different and the same. Two faces I am proud to call my own.
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